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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about picking up a homeless chick? It doesn't matter where you drop them off."

"How do you get a baby into a shoebox? A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw."

"In my dream I see us all standing together, throwing away differences and rallying for the abolition of mayo escape-holes in loaf bread."

"Time 4 the 3rd debate, the political eqivalent of driving past a street corner several times to make sure u choose the least skanky ho! ;^)"

"I just don't have enough middle fingers for today."

"Worm CEO cuts workforce in half, doubles productivity"

"Your blood pressure looks normal, I'll fix that. - Children, every five minutes."

"I booked a suite at a 5 star hotel and when my girlfriend arrived,on the bed spelled out in rose petals was ""be right out,I'm taking a shit"""

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Gays are definitely from Saturn. You know the only planet chic enough to accessorize with a belt."

"My girlfriend asked me how I know so much about vaginas I had be honest, I told her I've been into them for years."