106972

Joke of the Day

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Gays are definitely from Saturn. You know the only planet chic enough to accessorize with a belt."

"Thoughts on ""The Hunt for Red October""? oops, wrong sub."

"Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don't have them, you cry about it."

"You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog."

"i heard a rumor about a horny mistake yeah, they say the mistake also has no life so the mistake just goes around the /r/joke subreddit to use up his time."

"Have you heard about the new drink, the hurricane Sandy? It's a watered down Manhattan."

"TIFU by getting on the normal bus instead of the dyslexic one Whoops, wrong bus."

"What do you call a Muslim who's always late for everything? 9/12"

"My 6 yr old asked me if ""satire"" is like a ""flat tire."" I told him no. People know how to handle a flat tire."

"Why couldn't the drunk make it as a lawyer? He couldn't pass the bar."