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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump wants to ban shredded cheese in the United States. He wants to make America grate again."

"Someone asked me if I was more indecisive or anti-climactic. I guess if I had to choose...I'd definitely say I'm one or the other."

"Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, ""I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."" Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means."

"Does anyone know any good renal/kidney jokes? I'm in nursing school right now and there's a competition in one of my classes for the funniest renal joke. I can't think of any! Help?"

"I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV."

"Girl: So, how many inches is it? Pat: How many inches is what? G: You know.. P: Uhhh, about 200 dollars long. G: OMG, It's so big!"

"I invented a new word. Plagiarism."

"If your Uncle Jack helped you off a horse, would you help your Uncle Jack off a horse?"

"What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda"

"There are two types of people in the world: those who need closure"