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Joke of the Day

"If you're in a wheelchair and you say your date stood you up, it's unclear to me whether your night was lousy or remarkable."

"A Roman Walks Into a Bar... and holds up his middle and pointer fingers. ""Five beers please,"" he says."

"I would absolutely slay the dating game if looks and personality didn't matter"

"How do you call black guy that missed his train? Nigga, you racist!"

"Q: How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked."

"I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 5 billion dollaers???"

"So I got a manual on how to please a man. So far it's really come in handy."

"What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it."

"The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you're doing it too."

"I asked Santa for a Frisbee when I was a kid.... But I was an only child, so he gave me a boomerang."