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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"What dose a device that makes electricity and a person who likes a comment on caitlyn's face book page have in common? They are both generators (jenner-rater)"

"I said to the wife, ""I'm horny."" ""What you want me to do?"" ""Have sex with me."" ""Oh, really?"" ""No, just joking,"" I laughed. ""I just wanted to give you a headache."""

"My daughter was whining about her chores. She asked if she needed to vacuum the whole apartment. I said, ""no, just do the floor."""

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss"

"Damn, that girls so basic... (Biology) Damn, that girls so basic she got a ph of 14!"

"What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say? ""I don't really carrot all for vegetables."""

"I know I'm getting old... the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels."

"Why did Sony pull ""The Interview"" ? They were afraid it would bomb at the movie theaters"

"Why don't you see any slow black people? They're all in jail."