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Joke of the Day

"Today I've been cancer free for 19 years.. And it's also my 19th birthday, what a coincidence!"

"I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it."

"My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for ""We Will Rock You."""

"Don't just upgrade Windows 8 Up-upgrade it."

"Laundry is racist!! Must separate the whites from the colors!! No delicates allowed? Oh, whites get HOT water, everyone else gets cold!"

"Whats the difference between a genie and a genius? A genie grants wishes, while a genius wishes for grants. Source: http://explosm.net/comics/3155/"

"I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle."

"Love means never having to say you're sorry until you've thought up a good excuse."

"Do Rabbis get paid for performing circumcisions? Nope, they just keep the tips."

"They say the black community isn't to fond of gay marriage... maybe its for the best.. I mean... who needs two dead beat fathers?"