190203

Joke of the Day

"I often wish I could go back to a simpler time when I wasn't so nostalgic."

"How does Bob Marley like his biscuits? Wit jam in?"

"Wondering why we have 50 candidates for Miss America, but only 2 for president. Also, why no swimsuit competition?"

"What do you call a Canadian that's been run through a blender? Pure-eh"

"I bought a dog so I wouldn't feel creepy picking up poop off the sidewalk"

"Why are giraffes slow to apologize? It takes them a long time to swallow their pride"

"Did you hear about the pig's vacation? They had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park. They dressed up as bears and raided all the garbage cans."

"I just saved a bundle on future college tuition by finding out my 4 year old wants to be a gum ball when he grows up."

"How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts? Quid each."

"Why did Donald Trump cross the road? To grab some pussy."