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Joke of the Day

"How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts? Quid each."

"How much Norris? (Tongue twister) How much Norris could Chuck Norris chuck, if Chuck Norris could chuck Norris?"

"Nephew: Really?! Me: Yup! Go for it! N: *runs into wall* Me: *takes pic* N: *wakes up* Am I at Hogwarts? Me: No, we'll try again later."

"Q: Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover? A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum. **X-post : /r/ScienceHumour**"

"I taught my parents something today... ...I guess they learned from their mistake"

"A man walks in to a bar His alcoholism is destroying his family."

"*chases cat around the house with a lint roller"

"What did the German baker say to greet his customers? Gluten tag!"

"Why did the Seahawks pass the ball? To get to the other side!"

"How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier? The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!"