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Joke of the Day

"My wives going to a fancy dress party tonight dressed as a Rastafarian. She wants me to do her hair. I'm dreading it!"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them."

"My 7yo has a friend over and I'm pretty sure he learned how to whisper during a hurricane."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, since he's too short to be an ese."

"A catholic priest is drowning - if only he had a buoy to hold onto"

"No end in sight... I can't see an end. I have no control. I don't think there's any escape. I don't even have a home anymore. Time for a new keyboard."

"What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos? Pork, eh?"

"I play hard to get; if it's hard, you're getting it."

"*watching an old Lassie show Me: How come you can't do those things? Dog (mutters): If we had a well I'd push you into it."

"If a ""cougar"" is an older woman who is into younger men, what do you call an older woman who is into younger women? a gym teacher"