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Joke of the Day

"Why was Obama so disappointed when he went to a screening of The Men Who Stare At Goats Being a Muslim, he thought there would be more romance."

"Hey, have you heard of that new movie, ""Constipation""? Yeah...it hasn't come out yet."

"Me: Can I have a Batmobile? Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job? Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage."

"Q. What is black and white and screams? A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs."

"HI MOM. YOU'RE GONNA BE SO PROUD. I JUST WON AN ARGUMENT ON THE INTERNET. Sorry caps lock was still on from the argument. But I won."

"ZOMBIE 1: why do we eat brains? ZOMBIE 2: because. It's food for thought! haha ZOMBIE 1: [sigh]"

"Nothing better than shutting the door and jerking off after a long day And it's even better if the uber has heated seats"

"My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, ""Samantha""."

"What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician? Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts..."

"What did Donald Duck say to the prostitute? Put it on my bill."