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Joke of the Day

"I'm a bit worried. I was checking my testicles this morning, and I noticed that one of them... ...is considerably larger than the other two."

"Have you seen www.square.com? No I haven't got around to it."

"This dermatologist waits a month to diagnose a skin disorder... She's reluctant to make a rash decision."

"HOW I DRESS FOR UNIVERSITY First day of the week: brad pitt Last day of the week: homeless druggie"

"[Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist"

"""The last thing I want to do is hurt you. First I want to date you & get to know you."""

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere."

"A Redditor walks into Reddit Restaurant... All of our servers are busy right now. Please try again in a minute."

"Why don't tampons talk to maxi-pads? Because they're stuck-up cunts."

"Malaysia airlines are having a huge sale Flights to any destination in the world for $499 one way.... return flights not available"