190054

Joke of the Day

"""just get thru the 1st day without them finding out youre an elephant"" IT dude: ""ok here's your new mouse"" [just fkn destroys the place]"

"When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That's how doors work. How do you know so little about doors?"

"Why did the english student get an F? His poem had ABAD rhyme pattern."

"I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets' We've already been called the best cover band of all time"

"Jewish guy goes to his rabbi . . . . . . he asks, ""I don't get it. If we're the chosen people, why did God make the goys?"" The rabbi shrugs and say, ""Hey . . . somebody's gotta pay retail."""

"What's the difference? What's the difference between a midget acrobatic team and a girls track team? The midgets are a bunch of cunning runts."

"A joke about mermaids and humans: If human pussy smells like fish, does mermaid pussy smell like human?"

"Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep but once a month it's shark week."

"What do you call Japanese people that fly planes? Pirates."

"What is called when an insurance company assesses a totaled car? An auto-topsy"