57157

Joke of the Day

"My mom got one of the bracelets that help you with balance, so I pushed her into the shelf at walmart. It doesn't work."

"What is a misogynist? A misogynist is anyone winning an argument with a feminist."

"Worst trigonometry joke I know. Actually, I won't bother telling it, it's too obtuse."

"Researchers found that students of a teacher who regularly took LSD lived extraordinarily long lives. It seems his pupils die late."

"I got a new German cell phone I put it on airplane mode. It locked me out and then crashed"

"I went to an illiterate psychic I couldn't get a reading"

"Did you hear about the plane full of anorexics that crashed? There were no FAT-alities, but everyone felt really, really dead."

"I've been having a hard time getting around with my bad leg. Just goes to show limpin' ain't easy!"

"[speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? ""No."" *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]"

"Food bank Im that poor i cant even get help from the food bank, they said I'm 2 tins of Tomatoes and a banana overdrawn."