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Joke of the Day
"How do snowmen get around? By icicle."
Next Joke
"Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders. How I learned this rule is not important."
"Albert Einstein was a genius... But his brother Frank was a monster."
"What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit? An anti-hissy-tamine."
"I'm in a joint World Cup/NCAA Bracket pool. I have Portugal/Wofford/Belize/Kansas/Mexico/Wofford/Qatar in my Sweet Seven."
"So I was fucking my daughter last night... when my wife walked in. I don't know what she was more surprised by: the fact that I was fucking our daughter or that the abortion clinic let me keep it."
"How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You poke 'em on!"
"Donald Trump is going to demand to see Hilary Clinton's birth certificate... to make sure she is a woman."
"Judas: Still on for friday? ""Jesus: friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""
"*ding-dong* - ""Hello, my name is Tony, I'm here to bang your daughter."" - ""TO WHAT?!"" - - ""TONY!"""