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Joke of the Day

"On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered 'Going home!'"

"I wonder if my potential boyfriend is hiding at the bottom of this ice cream tub."

"Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class? He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution."

"Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. Or going to a 7am meeting where my client will ream my ass and I'll just suck up to him. Whatever."

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"""Are you there, God? It's me, well, you've probably never heard of me cuz I'm like really underground & shit."" -- Hipster prayer"

"One ply toilet paper. Get in touch with your inner self."

"Two Snowmen are in a field... ...and one turns to the other and says ""Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."" My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion."

"I hate when I wake up in the morning hungover with penises drawn on my face, Especially since I was drinking alone last night"

"Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you"