189668

Joke of the Day

"[at bank] *slides teller a note* Teller: Me: T: M: [winks] T: Seriously!? M: uh huh T: M: T: *slides me a lollipop*"

"""Sorry, I lost the name of that person you just met 5 mins ago. But check this out, I found the complete lyrics to Paul Revere!"" - my brain"

"Interesting fact about Fight Club Your text post (optional)"

"Did you hear The Fonz wrote an erotic novel? It's called 50 Shades of Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"My girlfriend is like the square root of negative one hundred A perfect ten, but imaginary"

"""Dear God, make me a bird, so I can..."" *turns into penguin* ""DAMMIT I WASN'T FINISHED!"""

"How does a hipster measure out his drugs? Using instagrams."

"My wife said she would come back home to me if I promised to give up my obsession with wanking on the staircase. I said, ""Okay, but can we take it one step at a time?"""

"Oral sex makes your whole day.. ..Anal sex makes your hole weak.."

"What do you call someone who claims to do drugs to try to look cool? A marajuannabe."