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Joke of the Day

"Why was the stoner kicked out of the eating competition? He was caught using performance enhancing drugs."

"We've hired a new accountant. Her name is Helen Wait. Anyone expecting a check from us can go to Helen Wait."

"Computing Pirates What's a pirate's favorite computer language? Aye, you'd think it was R, but tis the C"

"[Jail] INMATE: I killed a guy. SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog."

"I hope the mysterious food thief at the office enjoys the dog food marinara and Jello with my toenail clippings I made for him/her."

"What's the worst thing about having a huge dick? Trying to hide it under the skirt."

"The other day I held the door for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester."

"If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper"

"My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie."

"How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market? Buy high sell higher."