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Joke of the Day

"Boyfriend's on the phone talking to a guy about lattes and his love of peach scones. I'm on the couch wondering when our periods synced."

"A skeleton walks into a bar, he says, ""gimme a beer, and a mop."""

"How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish? He yelled, ""A u, fish!"""

"Do you know who cries the most during the end of Titanic? Metal fans."

"Certainty Fewer things in life are certain than death, taxes and if you name your son Chester he will touch children"

"What is green, red and goes 90 miles per hour? A frog in a blender."

"Did you hear about the dumb father who returned from lunch and saw a sign on his door ""Back in 30 minutes"" so he sat down to wait for himself?"

"Dear God, thank you for not giving spiders wings."

"Donald trump and a slinky have a lot in common... They are both useless piles of garbage but they'll put a smile on your face if you shove them down the stairs."

"What does your mom and Pac-man have in common? She eats balls all day. WOKA WOKA WOKA WOKA!!!!!"