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Joke of the Day

"I have the best proctologist. He's able to massage my shoulders and check my prostate at the same time."

"POLICE OFFICER: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""Because you know I love riddles."""

"There are two reasons I don't give money to the homeless 1. They use it for drugs and alcohol. 2. I need it for drugs and alcohol."

"another vampire joke for you guys. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""see you next month."""

"Why did the trout go to med school? Mounting pressure from his friends and family"

"""Honey, you're not really nice to your son"" ""Which one do you mean? Steve, John or the fat one?"""

"THERAPIST: What's the problem with your marriage? WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"

"Your password must include 5 minutes of interpretive dance, 15 excerpts from contemporary fiction and 1 word made up by Shakespeare."

"What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo."

"The meaning of the word ""Poor"" Poor (noun) = When you have too much month at the end of your money"