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Joke of the Day

"There are two reasons I don't give money to the homeless 1. They use it for drugs and alcohol. 2. I need it for drugs and alcohol."

"I arrived at the annual premature ejaculation society. They said, ""Your early sir""? I replied, ""I know, I came on the bus"""

"[religion] Why did Jesus die on the cross? he forgot the safe word"

"My drug dealer is hilarious... he cracks me up"

"Fitness level: Just used a yoga DVD as a coaster for my beer. Namaste."

"Young boy at christmas : haha I got more presents then you !! Sister replied : Haha ! At least I dont have AIDS XD"

"I called the Rape Advice Line earlier today. Turns out it's only for victims."

"we lost our power ""why?"" a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* ""that's awes-"" it's not as cool as it sounds"

"Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti"

"A month before my grandfather died we had tried everything to cure him. We then heard you could try covering him head to toe in baby oil - after that he went downhill very quickly."