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Joke of the Day

"THERAPIST: What's the problem with your marriage? WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"

"What do a Catholic Priest and McDonald's have in common? Both like to stick their meat in 10 year old buns."

"You know why Santa has so big balls? He only comes ones a year."

"I know you look at the toilet paper after you wipe."

"I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit"

"I'm thinking about trying steroids... I hear they're all the rage!"

"A man tried to find a restaurant using Apple Maps"

"*Japanese Zen garden tour* Guide: It's important to be quiet & not disturb the- *Me from back eating huge bag of chips*: DUDE WE CANT HEAR U"

"Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards? Because is they fell forward they'd land in the boat."

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing..."