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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my racist jokes... Made by someone else."

"I wish I would be poor for a day Instead of every day of the year"

"A smoke detector is a sophisticated device designed to inform you that your smoke alarm is working. But seriously keep your batteries in it people. If you don't you'll die, maybe."

"If two lawyers were drowning and you could only save one of them would you read the paper or go to lunch?"

"don't joke about arthritis It's too close to the bone"

"Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want"

"Is is best to do your homework on an empty stomach or a full stomach? It's best to do it on paper."

"If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot."

"Bird puns I am a bird enthusiast. My friend tried to annoy me with bird puns, but then I realized: toucan play at that game."

"Which type of soup is the heaviest? Won-ton soup"