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Joke of the Day

"I have been feeling down on my karma lately.. so I bought a horse and named her Karma. Upvotes for me and Karma-horse."

"What do you call it when God masturbates? Jesus fucking Christ"

"Pork is awesome, but it's best when used as a verb."

"When I die I want my Group project members to lower me into my grave. So they can let me down one last time."

"A warm toilet seat... A warm toilet seat is like fucking a prostitute. It feels amazing at first but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."

"She wanted to be friends with benefits, but I said no because she didn't offer dental."

"What kind of bug bites only at your feet? Mosqui-toes"

"Protip: If a party guest says ""I don't dance"" what he's really telling you is ""make my drinks stronger please""."

"[Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] ""Hey"" Hi ""Can I ask you something?"" Yup ""Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"""

"What does a confused student at Hogwarts study? Which craft?"