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Joke of the Day

"Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles."

"I bought my friend a new computer screen for Xmas. His New Year resolution is 1920 x 1080."

"Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!"

"How many baby's does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them"

"How much Viagra do you have to give a computer to turn its software into hardware? Just enough to completely fill up the floppy diks drive."

"What's the difference between a chestnut and a walnut? Your aim."

"Was shopping for a toilet. Sales guy showed me the newest model they had in store. It uploads all my shit to Facebook."

"My girlfriend's plastic fork broke while she was eating earlier.... ....Just a tine-y bit. (i was so proud of myself but no one else laughed as much as I did )"

"A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: ""A beer please, and one for the road."""

"What did the Hispanic chef say when he went down on his girlfriend? ""Umami!"""