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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: ""A beer please, and one for the road."""

"Me: Ooh, I'd love to go to your party, but I have a dentist appointment. Her: On a Saturday night? Me: I've got really bad teeth."

"Where does Noah store his bees? The ark-hives."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Ha! Feminists can't change anything."

"nsfw Why did the gay have sex with the lesbian? To get back at her girlfriend."

"Police commissioner, do we have any leads in the Trump assassination case? It's too early to tell, but we have reason to believe the gun belonged to Gov. Jeb Bush"

"I wanna die by getting stuck my lightning Shocking, I know."

"Do you know what would happen if you'd freeze someone to -273.15 degrees Clesius? That person would be 0K Edit: Just noticed that I flopped the title. :("

"If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris still has more money than you."

"When I found out Carl was a beekeeper I stopped loaning him bees."