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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's plastic fork broke while she was eating earlier.... ....Just a tine-y bit. (i was so proud of myself but no one else laughed as much as I did )"

"No thanks hot air balloons. I prefer to fly in 75 ton metal tubes as God and the Wright brothers intended."

"What is the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste!"

"Its national left-handers day I'm going to rub one out with my right hand to give lefty his day off"

"""How can it be global warming,"" pondered @realDonaldTrump, ""if it's cold outside? Cold is the opposite of warm. Science is hard."""

"What do you say to an art student with a job? ""Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"""

"Who finds america? Funny Joke Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did."

"If you can't figure out your location on a coordinate plane... ...Are you lost in translation?"

"the ""i'm revealing my deepest insecurities to you with hope that you don't use them to utterly destroy me"" is silent in ""i love you"""

"Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care"