189087

Joke of the Day

"me: *buys condoms, tampons, lice shampoo, adult diapers, yeast infection cream, an enema and a pregnancy test* cashier: would u like a bag"

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it. (credit to Tasteless)"

"I passed my dentistry exam... Written paper A+, Oral B."

"Did you hear about the man who had sex with a parrot? He got chirpes, and the bad news is...it's untweetable."

"Anytime I pass an unlocked minivan I throw a few of my kids' most annoying toys in the trunk."

"We should start calling policemen Diamonds. [x-post /r/Showerthoughts] Diamonds Clubbing Spades."

"Why was the rooster going to the urinals? Because that's where all the cocks hang out!"

"Jesus killed the dinosaurs because he was tired of their bullshit."

"Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps."

"What do you call a cow masterbating? Beef stroking off"