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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a waffle that burps too much? A belchin waffle."
Next Joke
"There are 2 cats. One is called ""One Two Three"" and the other is called ""Un Deux Trois"", which is the best at swimming? ""One Two Three"" obviously. Because ""Un Deux Trois"" cat sank"
"Blind Man I just passed a blind man in home depot. He was dressed head to toe in camouflage. I assume he was trying to even the playing field. Well done sir. (True Story)"
"If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking ""ghosts"" questions."
"Ten years ive been looking for a play on words to impress my friends.. No pun in ten did."
"The three modes of communication Telephone, Telegraph and Tell a woman"
"What kind of shoes do pedophiles like? White Vans"
"[dentist's full hand and wrist in my mouth, also his keys?] so u visited Spain u said? tell me. tell me every goddamn detail about Spain"
"How come it's ok to talk to a stranger's dog on the street but when I ask for the dog's email I'm suddenly a weirdo?"
"5-year-old: Why don't we say Grace? Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry?"