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Joke of the Day

"Blind Man I just passed a blind man in home depot. He was dressed head to toe in camouflage. I assume he was trying to even the playing field. Well done sir. (True Story)"

"I got fired today from my summer job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way"

"Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer."

"I asked my cat ""Who is your favorite President of China?"" According to her it's Mao."

"I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung"

"I can prove that primates don't exist... Eight divides evenly by 2 or 4."

"What do you call a white man flying a plane? Clive, usually."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool."

"A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon... ...He says, ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"""

"Me and my girl on my birthday are like an organic compound with an aldehyde group Always ends in -anal"