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Joke of the Day

"""Alright they've left for vacation lets rob em"" Oh shoot their porch lights are on ""So what we literally watched them leave"" Rules are rules"

"A girl once told me she was getting drunk off of my love.... ... I told her that's just the date rape drug kicking in."

"How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb? (X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key."

"Adele has announced that she will be singing the theme for the next James Bond film. Diet Another Day will be released in 2014."

"I like my women the way... I like my wine...12 years old and in the cellar."

"I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in."

"Was gonna get a brain transplant I changed my mind"

"Vince Vaughn supports the right to carry guns in public. So if you ever wander into 1 of his movies, you can just shoot yourself."

"Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"I lost my girlfriend recently. Then the topic moved away from science and she was fine again."