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Joke of the Day

"I like my women the way... I like my wine...12 years old and in the cellar."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino (Hell-if-I-know)"

"How many light bulbs did it take to screw a human? None, there not too bright with doing anything except showing us where to go when were lost in the dark"

"Every time I clean out my fridge, I get pissed off about the stuff I forgot to eat."

"Why don't Barbie and Ken have kids? Ken came in a different box."

"Here's one for the photographers of reddit Why was the photo of a wheat field rejected from Alamy? A=It had too much grain"

"What is my favorite street sign? Slow children."

"Hearing someone say 'first world problems' is now almost worse than many third world problems."

"ME: [whispering]""Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!"" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: ""um no. I have on pajamas"""

"There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home"