188843

Joke of the Day

"My wife's new skirt Came home and saw my wife had done some shopping. ""Nice skirt,"" I said. ""What are you talking about? I got my hair straightened out."""

"Kid: What's this? Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin? M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch? M: ..."

"A bug zapper, but for people trying to come into my office."

"What do you call a priest's sermon that takes too long? The Reverending Story"

"ted cruz looks like he puts ketchup all over his fries instead dipping them"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap the mosquito it stops sucking."

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? Fruity."

"A survey says parents spend $1k on their children's electronics yearly. When WE were young we walked 5 miles uphill in the snow w/ NO APPS!"

"Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I'd like to read a medication bottle that says ""May Cause Multiple Orgasms"""

"A seal walks into a club... that is all."