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Joke of the Day

"Julius Caesar bought a Google GPS and said, 'Youtube, route us'."

"[First date] Her: i'm a criminal lawyer, what do you do? Me: really, well it just so happens that I... (trying to impress her) ...am a criminal"

"I've got a joke with no punchline.. I'm not joking!"

"Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes? Because he's extinct"

"snow ice or cold puns I wanted to see everybody's best ice snow or cold puns,"

"As a husband and father, it troubles me that prisoners are still being given time in solitary confinement when I would gladly pay for some."

"Math, I'm not a therapist... ...Solve your own problems."

"Taking calculus has made me want to become Prime Minister of a European country Then I can just throw money at problems instead of trying to integrate them."

"Virgins in Paradise? Suck my balls, Al Qaeda; I got a jacuzzi full of sluts right here in Southern California."

"I was writing a paper on my grandfather... But had to stop because he was moving so much."