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Joke of the Day
"Fucking a mannequin is not an excuse to tell your friends you're banging a model."
Next Joke
"What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most? Pupperoni"
"What did one Mexican say to the other Mexican? It's four-twenty Juan!"
"The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today... I told them it wasn't pressing."
"Me: Just a glass of water Scientist waiter: You mean a glass of... yourself? You see, the body is made up of ok ok sit down I'll bring it"
"I was seeing a girl once ...until my binoculars broke"
"Real Road Signs (What they mean) ""Rough road"" (Road sucks) ""Construction zone"" (Unattended orange cone zone) ""Lanes shift"" (Confusing af)"
"You Shook Me All Night Long is a great song that also describes what I do to my husband when he's snoring."
"The best thing about time machines ... ... is that you can buy it used and sell it new."
"Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case."