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Joke of the Day

"Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again"

"This day needs cyanide."

"Where does Khal Drogo keep his DVDs? In *Arakh* Yeah you'd probably only get this if you read ASOIF but the joke came to me randomly."

"Annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there's always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time"

"Troll: Horrible thing. Me: Horrible thing back. Troll: I was just giving my honest opinion. Me: Me too. Troll: But..."

"The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio."

"This soup tastes funny Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?"

"I told my son I was an early adopter. He asked, what tech? Then it got weird."

"*ransom note on gun* [1 million dollars by Friday or I shoot your daughter. No exceptions] [ps please mail gun back it's my only one]"

"Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble."