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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a feminist, and a Stranger Things fan walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes..."

"my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like ""im here lol. from baby"""

"I'm going to kill myself.... or die trying."

"How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it"

"What's at the beginning of the rainbow? Refraction of sunlight in raindrops"

"Crazy sister put: ""I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly"" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too."

"Hear about that kidnapping? He woke up"

"I couldn't figure out how to use a seatbelt But then it clicked."

"What do you tell a girl with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."