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Joke of the Day
"How do you seize the means of production? By overthrowing the bourgeoisie "
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"[At Adele Concert] Adele: Hello from the other siiiiiide Me (shouting): Tell us your surname"
"Even death can't get you out of the friend zone... she'll be at your funeral like ""he was like a brother to me"""
"A Cadillac carrying five Mexicans drives off of a cliff and everybody dies. Why is it a tragedy? Because a Cadillac sits six."
"I've realized that when my wife says ""what?"" its not because she didnt hear me, shes just giving me a chance to unsay something I just said."
"Why do women get yeast infections? So they can know how it feels to live with an irritating cunt!"
"Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs."
"What do you call a gay doctor who went to college in France, married an Irishwoman and practiced medicine in Italy? A Fag"
"What do you call a bolt that dresses like a woman? A cross-threader"
"I am the worst writer in the world until I finish writing, at which point I immediately become a goddamn genius. This is relatable content."