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Joke of the Day

"What should my wife & I fight about tonight? Maybe start with something new then segue into a classic?"

"What do you hear when a sheep blows up? Sis boom baa ~Carnac"

"I saved 100 orphans from a burning building. Do they call me ""The Orphan Saver?"" No. I butchered 20 men with my bare hands in WWI, but so they call me ""The Butcher?"" No. But you fuck one goat...."

"Why did the belt get arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out."

"Why do women sound like they're having an orgasm when they play tennis? And why does my mother play Tennis in her bedroom?"

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"

"Why is the north pole of a magnet red? Because they don't have seals on the south pole Takes a while to get, but it's worth it in the end."

"Why do Mexicans re-fry beans? Ever seen a spic do something right the first time?"

"Did you hear about the monkey lawyer who kept throwing his shit at the witnesses? He's been transferred to a different branch."

"Hey girl, are you an overdue library book? Cuz I'm gonna stuff you in the back of my car then forget about you"