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Joke of the Day
"Is trying to sell a useless set of feelings."
Next Joke
"Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus."
"What does Batman like with his whiskey? (Gravely voice) ""Just ice."""
"ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them"
"What is it called when a Jewish woman ovulates? An Eggsodus."
"A man calls his boss to call in sick... The boss asks him, ""How sick are you anyway?"" ""I fucked my sister! Is that sick enough for you?"""
"*found in the netflix horror section* ""Mary has a secret that'll TEAR YOU APART"" Movie name: Mary piranha"
"Feed a man corn and he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn and he kills you and steals your land."
"The best thing about being productive is going to bed knowing you did something. Or I think that's how productive people feel. I don't know."
"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"