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Joke of the Day

"I used to be afraid of flying in planes Until I tried it without one."

"What does a baby look like in a microwave? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate."

"What do you call it when a Republican Presidential Candidate throws a hissy fit when he doesn't get what he wants? A Tantrump."

"Irritable Bowel Syndrome is genetic. It runs in your jeans."

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot"

"*builds time machine* *goes back in time 183 days* *earth is on the other side of the sun* *dies in space*"

"What does a tight-rope walker eat for breakfast? A Balanced Diet!"

"I got the chance to watch a women's final for beach volleyball last night... What a semi!!"

"Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend? Cause Sheeran"

"I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?"