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Joke of the Day

"q: What's got four legs, is fuzzy and green, and would kill you if it came out of a tree at you? a: A pool table."

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"Puns about women are not funny. Period."
"Why I love circular logic... Because I love circular logic!"
"I've lost a friend after we chopped up a man from Bangkok together We severed Thais"
"Dear women who just gave birth, Stop naming your child 'Khalessi'. Sincerely, The rest of the human race"
"Wife: the library called about an overdue book *eye my copy of Outlandish Excuses for Everyday Life* ""Tell them I died in the moon wars"""
"TIL you can get kicked out of the Navy for getting on the wrong vessel just once. Oops, wrong sub."
"Why was the bi-sexual man so healthy? Because he ate plenty of fruits and vag."
"How many mods does it take to switch a light bulb? [deleted]"
"This milk is so far past its expiration date that I'm only going to have a small slice."