188369

Joke of the Day

"Is old rope good enough for a hanging? Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose."

"Sucks how Caesar died... ...Who knew he was allergic to knives?!"

"What's the difference between a statesman and a politician? A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman."

"When i fart I always tell my gf that it were butterfly's that did'nt know the way to my heart."

"Oedipus teasing... Oedipus passes near the hill and sees Sisyphus rolling the boulder up that hill. Oedipus (to Sisyphus): How's it goin'? Sisyphus: Shut up, motherfucker."

"You don't need to learn how to masturbate, It comes naturally."

"Her: Are you getting off early today? Me: THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME!"

"People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away."

"I thought of a great name for an abortion clinic... How about 'Birth Ctrl+Z' ?"

"What do you get when you put a knife in a babys ass? A hard on"