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Joke of the Day

"IT AND LIGHT BULBS Q: How many IT guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that's a Facilities problem."

"Most of adulthood is getting upset over not being invited to things that you wouldn't have gone to even if you were invited"

"if a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ..i just get in the back seat"

"So many good trailers; so few good movies."

"What did the polite bacteria say to the mouth? GingINVITEus in!"

"He who laughs first, must be using 3G internet."

"Boy: Our Principal So Stupid Girl:Don't You Know Who i am? Boy: No Girl: I'm The Principal's Daughet. Boy: Do You Know Who i am? Boy: Good (Walks Away)"

"I WANT TO LIVE! Patient:""Docter, I have only 30 seconds to live!"" Doctor:""I'll be with you in a minute."""

"Why doesn't an old man ever go down on his old wife? Ever opened a grilled-cheese sandwich?"

"Pretty cool to think every time the Verizon guy said ""Can you hear me now?"" the NSA was quietly answering ""Yes we can."""