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Joke of the Day

"I love giving a little kid the tongue, and then watching him run to his mother holding the severed tongue I just gave him."

"I can see you're upset. Maybe you should post more about it on Facebook. That should eliminate any more drama."

"What Did Superman Tell Superwoman? Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)"

"A sweet treat. I find my sex life is a lot like Nutella. Everyone loves it and has it all the time, and I'm just sitting in bed alone with a box of Ritz crackers."

"I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes? Pricks are on the outside of the porcupine."

"What was the last pizza order made to the World Trade Center? Two large plains"

"Why????? Which service would the with ask if she would check into a hotel??? THE BROOM SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"So I heard the royal baby was 8 pounds. That's awfully cheap for a human baby."

"All this buzz about Iron Man 2 is really going to hurt the opening weekend of my movie Steel Dude."