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Joke of the Day

"What do porn stars and prostitutes say when they wake up in the morning? Time to suck today's dick!"

"""And you don't want hairy hands, now do you? Oh! And googling 'it' will make you go blind..okay! Mommy loves you."" - Sis at her 9 year old."

"A guy waved at me and ran over the other day... He said ""oh sorry I thought you were someone else!"" I said, ""I am"" -Demetri Martin"

"I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller."

"You scream, we all scream, I apologize for entering the womens bathroom."

"The Jackhammer, Now that was a groundbreaking discovery."

"Did you hear the joke about the ageless baby? It never gets old. Did you hear the joke about Michelle Obama's vagina? It's a dark one."

"What's the only animal that has a cunt on its back? A police horse."

"OJ's son must have been the murderer.... ... because when he went to OJ that night to borrow his car keys, OJ said, ""..go aXe your mother"""

"2 birds talking to each other I think I need to take a shit. What are you waiting for? A car."