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Joke of the Day

"[me as a passenger on the titanic] oh ewww are there olives in this salad? YOU be quiet lillian, i swear this trip cannot possibly get worse"

"Have you ever smelled Moth Balls? How'd you get their little legs apart?"

"What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution."

"I asked my mom something really stupid. I asked her to calm down."

"Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted Wife: Ya? Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works Her:.. Me: No way a baby's gettin in here."

"I see your nerd joke and raise you mine A neutron walks into a bar, orders a drink and sits down. He says to the bartender ""How much?"". Bartender replies, ""For you no charge."""

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Poop"

"Want to hear a dirty joke? This boy trips and falls into some mud."

"How much for the best friend? Manager : Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale."

"When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter."