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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about Hamas... ...but their education system is top notch. Over 90% of the children in Gaza become ""Rocket Scientists""."

"Thou shalt not winky face smiley another man's twitter crush. -Emojenesis 8:15"

"Two man are walking across a bridge. One of them fell... The other was called Bob"

"Who is that walking up my driveway?! Anxiety in 3...2...1... [knock, knock] *sigh* ""WAIT A SECOND!"" *mumbles* ""I need to find pants."""

"What's the difference between a doe and dope? One's gotta pee."

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.!"

"I asked my wife for the newspaper I said to my wife, ""Get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" The spider didn't see that coming."

"If my girlfriend and I were stoners, I would propose by asking ... ...""Marriage, you wanna?"""

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokin-off!"

"Why do people say clean as a whistle? Whistles aren't clean, they're full of spit"