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Joke of the Day

"One of my co-workers just called the elevator a ""vator"". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call..."

"Forget drugs, with these new airline baggage fees I'm gonna have to start smuggling luggage up my asshole."

"What does Chris Brown tell his friends when he sees Rihanna at a party? I hit that."

"The Quran is like weed If you burn it you get stoned."

"Two blonde girls... ...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home."

"""What about this? What about this? And this?""--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer."

"Have you heard Neil Diamonds new Christmas song? I can't recall the lyrics but I remember it had a sweet carol line"

"How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb? None. They like it on the dark side."

"What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ? A spooksman !"

"A friend if mine asked me what will I do tomorrow... I told him I have to go on HIV test and then he replied, Oh shit... I am sure you can do it... stay positive!"