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Joke of the Day

"I met a guy yesterday who told me he worked as a limb stretcher. Turns out the bastard was pulling my leg."

"The first modern porno was invented in 1648 by Jacoby Porno who thought people should have something to look at while they jacked off[1][2]"

"Why are Gay and Lesbian parades always held in the Summer? Because Pride comes before a Fall."

"I saw two kids fighting in the elementary school playground this morning. Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They did not stand a chance."

"What store does Governor Ratcliffe go to buy his video games? IT'S BABBAGES, BABBAGES"

"Who's Zombies greatest enemy? Necrophiliacs"

"Me: (squeezing into a gown) I'm so sick of the fashion industry. Who do you even make these clothes for? Children? Disney Store clerk: Yes."

"I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?"

"Dear God, when I said six zeros salary, I didn't mean only zeros."

"""Blinding Nemo"" #BPMovies"