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Joke of the Day

"I challenge you to a battle of wits at high noon! Do you accept? Yes you say?! Well consider yourself mentally challenged."

"Why didn't Edward leave his house? Because he was Snowden."

"What's a terrorist's favourite car? A Ford Exploder."

"What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your NEIGHHHbor Credit: 6y/o nephew"

"How fast can you convince an Italian guy to perform cunnilingus? Licka-de-split."

"How do teenage boys keep warm? Jackit"

"What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common? They both watch whales."

"Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!"

"Even if you're really tired, never try to hold your eyes open using toothpicks. DAMN YOU 1970'S CARTOONS AND ALL OF YOUR FALLACIES!"

"I don't know. ""Hairy ass"" makes me sound kinda edgy but ""fuzzy bum"" is more family friendly. It's a tough call. Resumes are tricky."